From the mundane to the extraordinary and all sorts in between - here you‘ll find out how the Cathcart-Mudd family is faring this European adventure of ours.

Friday, 16 January 2009

Back to reality

Yeah, I know. I haven't updated this thing in ages. It's just that I was sort of reluctant to write about being back until I had thought about it some more. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it. After going "home" for Christmas, I felt all sorts of emotions that I wasn't prepared to feel... Like, happiness to go to the grocery store and know where everything was, and what all the different brands of things taste like or are used for. Relief at being able to understand everyone and know what people were saying to me, and also relief at being able to make a phone call or talk to a stranger and not instantly be "the American." I knew how all of the street signs worked and intuitively could follow them (it's amazing how different the street signage and directions are here), I knew what the TV programs were (but that's just because we don't own a TV now, otherwise I'm sure I'd have a better idea of pop culture here), and which stations had which types of programs. Basically, I think I'm feeling like I want to go back and that Scotland is not my home, at least not yet. But in talking to some fellow North American expats here, it sounds like I won't feel at home here until about year 5 or so, and after that I'll feel like a foreigner when I do go back to the US. God, that's a crazy thought. Anyhow, like I said, it's with rather mixed emotions that I find myself back here.
The jet lag has been ridiculously hard to shake. I've still not managed to get up any earlier than 8 am, and usually it's closer to 9 that Marius and I get up and eat breakfast. But I have my first day back at work on Monday, so I'd better get back into the swing of things ASAP. It'll be SO nice to go back to work. I hate being a full time nanny/housewife. I don't know how others manage to do it. I think I'd go nuts or drink myself to death. On my days "off work" and with Marius I end up so stressed out at the end of the day that I'm counting the minutes until Simon gets home and already drinking a gin and tonic, sherry, port, or glass of wine by 5:30. And once he crosses the threshold, all I can do is say "hi honey, here's your son, now please entertain him for the next hour while I wind down." But with working 3 days a week, I manage to relish my two days off with Marius by myself a lot more and actually plan events and outings if it's not too horrible outside, which it is about 40% of the time! So it will be great to be back into a routine again. I love being able to complete a conversation without having to run off in one direction or another mid-sentence!
Anyhow, I didn't mean to be depressing, I'm just in a bit of a transition state again after my long holiday. I'm sure I'll snap out of it in a month's time.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

P.S. Can you email me the picture of Grandpa with Marius in his walker - the no flash version? And the beach photo with me on Ian's back? Thx

Super Babe said...

I feel your pain re: being a foreigner everywhere you go... with the imminent return, that's how we're feeling. My Man claims he "hated" understanding everyone when he was back in the land of the free recently, ha!

Also, may I say I admire your honesty about the whole being a SAHM? I think it'd drive me insane too... good luck getting back to work... I guess in those cases a happy middle point is the best thing to have... for you and the kid :)

Maybe we can skype this weekend?

Manoj said...

very nice, Robin. Now you know how I felt for the past 8 years while living in the US, having to hear you yanks go on about how good my English is!! And yeah, I agree...it takes time for a place to grow on you and I'm sure you'll like Scotland at the end of your stay there. Till then, enjoy the experience! BTW, folks, how about a group conference on Skype. I know Hugo is interested too. Might be a lot of fun to have some truly international banter!